This is my explanation and not an Excuse....
Take it whichever way you want. I am tired of trying to be who I am not.
When you have met one person with ADHD
that is just it you have met one person with ADHD,
Each one is different, Each one is a person
Each one is a human - I cannot speak for this vibrant and very talented community
I can only say the way it plays out in me
I am the annoying friend you never knew what to do with ?
The Attention Seeker - The Drama Queen - Forever enthusiastic forever promising with great gusto - But the one that lets you down... Cant complete Jack......
The one who you think has his shit together - Until he does not
The one you think is so bright - but cant finish a sentence...
The one who can sell ice to the Eskimos - But cant find ice in his freezer when he needs it ... The Ice tray was thrown out ...
I forget midway through a task and end up with 50 million browsers
It is so important today but ... What ?
I can create a website but forget to press publish ...
I have every task manager, to do list, App software and Books, Journals, and I keep addin to the pile of shiny new ....Stuff
Yet I cant get through a day
I am really bad at keeping in touch as I forget ... But while we catch up its like we never left.. Was it really 20 years?
I lived through reacting to external stimulus my whole life often on other peoples agendas.
It’s always about their problems and never about mine - Cause I could not remember my own.
I am not a people pleaser but it was easier as it is too much effort to remember what I wanted to do ...
I fall in a heap at the pretence and the mask ... The energy depleted when alone.
I was always so scared to be alone - But I made the choice to walk away from people ... And I found me.. At 51 I live alone and have never been happier and more content.
I cannot explain this to all of you who call and insist I need people. I actually know exactly what I need - Thank you for your concern but - Give me the space - I am not like you. For the first time in my life I am doing something for me and figuring it out and I have given up trying to explain as you argue and I am tired. I do not defend anymore I just dont react for now.
Please stop with the Guilt texts and calls.... This is it. There is nothing else..
I will figure it out ...
